A Drabble of Spones
by Esperata
Summary: A selection of 100 word drabbles for my favourite pairing of Spock and Bones - Leonard Horatio McCoy CMO ;)
1. Can't Sleep Without

"Goddamit. I can't sleep like this." Bones rose up, grabbing blanket and pillow, and proceeded to pick his way across the rest of the away team.

Various grunts and groans later, he flopped back down, half on top of the First Officer. Spock shifted slightly to accommodate him.

Every head in the small cave turned their way.

"Anyone has anything to say," McCoy muttered "better wait 'til morning."

Kirk drew a breath to demand an explanation but Spock shot him a look and he fell silent.

As the pair settled comfortably, Jim gave a mental shrug.

"Fair enough," he conceded.


	2. Time Waits For No Man

McCoy would be surprised to know he was the cause of many shipboard romances.

The truth was, the sight of him running through the corridors, medikit in hand, with nurses at his heels, prompted many to consider the shortness of life.

Someone somewhere had undoubtedly just had a shorter life than expected.

So why delay in asking out that attractive ensign?

Sadly, McCoy never had time to consider the shortness of life. His focus was extending it.

So he never felt compelled to ask out the attractive Commander. There was always tomorrow… unless he had another emergency to deal with.


	3. The Omega Glory

"Spock!" McCoy looked up in surprise. "What you doing back here? I cleared you for duty an hour ago."

"I came to acknowledge your attempt to defend my possession of a heart to the Yangs. It was most unexpected."

McCoy dropped his gaze.

"Yeah, well, only I get to call you heartless."

"Yet you are most qualified to testify I do have a heart."

McCoy reached out to Spock's side to feel its beat.

"240 bpm" he commented.

"It is not there," Spock corrected reaching out to touch McCoy's chest. "It is here."

McCoy's eyes shone.

"You old romantic, you."


	4. Of Thank Yous

The party celebrating Spock's promotion to captain was well underway and McCoy was vibrating with excitement as the Vulcan got to his present.

It was unwrapped to general comments of appreciation but only one comment mattered to McCoy.

"Doctor… it is exquisite."

He held an original oil painting – Adam and Eve Expelled from Paradise by Chagall.

"You must have gone to some trouble…"

McCoy bounced on his heels, delighted with the response.

"Don't worry," he assured the Vulcan. "You can spank me later." He flushed as he realised his error. " _Thank_ me. Thank me later."

Spock arched an eyebrow.

"Indeed."


	5. Empok Nor

How in Hades had it come to this? Hiding from a deranged killer in an abandoned space station. Of course, he was a natural pessimist and didn't expect to survive much longer. And just when things between him and Spock were looking up.

McCoy was amazed he'd survived as long as he had, and entertained the brief hope this meant he'd be preferred alive.

A click behind him made him turn.

McCoy looked down the barrel of the gun and said the only thing left to say.

"I love you."

Spock nodded and said, "I know," before pulling the trigger.


	6. Perhaps We Should Not Do This Anymore

"Perhaps we should not do this anymore."

The words stop Leonard cold, frozen in the act of fastening his belt.

There isn't time for this – Jim'll be here any moment to meet his First Officer for breakfast. Yet…

"Is it something I've said? Something I've done. I never mean anything by it, not really. I thought-"

He's babbling, caught up in panic at Spock's words. A gentle hand stops him.

"Leonard. I meant we should not hide anymore."

Relief and elation flood the doctor and he grips Spock in a tight embrace. They're still entwined when Jim arrives minutes later.


	7. Reader

"Spo-ock!" The voice was definitely a whine now. "We've only got a few hours 'til we're due on shift."

"We have over ten hours."

"But eight of those I'll be asleep!"

"You rarely sleep eight hours unless you are ill."

"But I should."

Silence fell again. Briefly.

"Spo-ock!"

"Leonard. I wish to finish my reading. I am near to the denouement."

"Well, if you love your reading so much more than me…"

"The reading is research for your benefit. Perhaps you would care to read the last chapter aloud? I should prefer to hear it spoken."

"… _Reader, I married him…_ "


	8. Drive Me Wild

"No need to be nervous, Spock. I know what I'm doing."

"I am not nervous."

"I've done this before. I wouldn't do anything that would hurt you."

"I know that…"

"And I **am** a doctor. If anything _does_ go wrong I can fix it."

The silence was tense.

"Don't you trust me Spock?"

"You know I do Leonard."

"Right. I'm going to start now. And honey?" he smirked. "Don't forget to breathe."

…

"This is quite… pleasurable."

"I knew you'd enjoy a proper old-fashioned drive."

"I had no idea motoring could be enjoyable."

"Darlin'," he grinned, "You ain't seen nothing yet."


	9. A Helping Hand

Jim stepped inside McCoy's quarters and stopped short.

The doctor was sitting cross-legged on the floor with his eyes closed.

Jim opened his mouth, closed it, opened it again and managed to say,

"What are you doing?"

"Goddamit Jim!" McCoy exclaimed, eyes snapping open to glare at his captain. He relented under the weight of Jim's concern.

"I was meditating if you must know. Spock suggested it might help me sleep."

A broad grin spread across Jim's face as he finally reached to help McCoy up.

"You tell him I tried it and I'll go hypo happy on you though."


	10. Diplomatic Incident

"Well, tha's jus' the kinda remark ah'd expect a diplomat liken you to make."

Spock easily heard the doctor's inebriated voice. A glance showed McCoy bouncing, poised to strike. Jim sent a pleading look his way.

Diplomacy wasn't halting the tirade. Spock stepped forward to initiate the one thing that would.

"Doctor. I am in need of medical assistance. I am experiencing extreme discomfort."

Previous target forgotten, McCoy turned on Spock.

"An' ya choose ta tell me now?" He sighed. "Come on then."

Spock followed the doctor out. Now he just needed a logical reason to get McCoy to bed.


	11. Incident Of Diplomacy

McCoy awoke to the familiar feeling of a hangover. He also awoke to the unfamiliar feeling of a body wrapped around his.

He risked a glance at the arm tight about his waist and groaned.

"Doctor, you are awake." Spock's voice was utterly calm.

McCoy squeezed his eyes shut.

"What happened?"

"You were quite inebriated and likely to cause a diplomatic incident. I removed you from the company."

"And then?"

"I put you to bed. It was necessary to stay to ensure you remained here."

"So… nothing happened?" McCoy asked, both relieved and disappointed.

"No, Doctor. Nothing has happened… yet."


	12. Fighting Again

Captain Kirk was not a man given to begging.

"Won't you _please_ make up already!"

"No way." McCoy glared. "He's the one who forgot our anniversary!"

Kirk turned to Spock hoping he'd be sensible about this.

"It is the doctor's fault for choosing a random date."

"It ain't random! It's the day we first… you know. _Expressed_ ourselves."

"I see only one solution," Spock stated. "We must marry officially. Then the date will be agreed upon."

"Fine," McCoy agreed huffily.

Blessed silence fell.

"We shall marry aboard ship of course," Spock added.

"We will not! Georgia or nothing!"

Kirk sighed.


	13. Wedding Belles

Leonard had lost the will to live ages ago. Why had they ever agreed to help Nyota with shopping for a wedding dress?

"What about this one?" She pulled out a Little Bo Peep style dress in baby blue.

McCoy hesitated.

"I do not believe it would flatter you," Spock replied smoothly. "However on Leonard it would look most becoming."

Nyota grinned wide as McCoy blushed.

"No-one asked your opinion on _me_ ," he admonished. " _We_ ain't getting married."

"Nevertheless it pays to be prepared," Spock suggested.

With a wicked grin, Nyota seized Leonard and dragged him to the changing rooms.


	14. Trading Insults

"Bones!" Kirk stepped inside sickbay. "You feeling better?"

"Yeah. It was only a twenty-four hour bug."

"It looked nasty though – those spots and puffy eyes – should I be worried about it spreading?"

"Nah. The virus can't survive outside the mucous membrane."

"So it has to pass mouth to mouth?" Jim asked curiously.

McCoy was about to answer when the doors slid open and Spock stepped in, his skin speckled with spots and eyes swollen. He stopped short at the sight of the captain.

McCoy flushed.

Kirk glanced between them and smirked.

"Seems you two have started trading more than insults."


	15. Recognition

Spock had believed himself capable of maintaining the Kolinahr disciplines.

Chekov posed no problem. Nor had Sulu and Uhura. He had even spoken to Jim with equanimity.

But then the doctor… _his_ doctor…

"So help me, I'm actually pleased to see you!"

Spock had been unprepared… although an adept should require no preparation. He managed no response but retreated.

Later though, he found himself responding without thought.

"Spock, you haven't changed a bit. You're just as warm and sociable as ever."

"Nor have you, Doctor, as your continued predilection for irrelevancy demonstrates."

It was then Spock knew he was lost.


	16. Once Bitten

"Don't worry," Christine whispered. "McCoy's always grumpy."

John smirked. "I've got a plan to win him over."

He raised his voice so it carried easily.

"What were Starfleet thinking? Assigning a Vulcan that can't even _understand_ emotions as First Officer?"

John smiled as McCoy turned in his direction.

"Nurse Doe. That's a load of hogwash. Mister Spock's the finest First Officer in the Fleet. He knows more about emotions than you know about Vulcans, that's for sure! So think about your own limitations before pointing fingers or you won't last two weeks on the _Enterprise_!"

John quickly shut his mouth.


	17. Twice Shy

"Don't mind Spock," Nyota whispered. "He only seems a bit cold."

Jane smirked. "I've got a plan to win him over."

She raised her voice so it carried easily.

"First thing I'm doing is requesting another doctor. The man doesn't even trust transporters!"

Jane smiled as Spock turned in her direction.

"Ensign Doe. Doctor McCoy has commendations – Legion of Honor and Awards of Valor. He is the pre-eminent Ship's Surgeon of Starfleet. You are fortunate to be under his care. Although I would not care to predict how long you will serve on the _Enterprise_."

Jane quickly shut her mouth.


	18. Thinking It Over

"Jim," Spock spoke slowly. "How would you react if someone grasped your shoulder, stared straight into your eyes and then said you wouldn't know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling?"

"Well Mister Spock, I believe I would do what they clearly _wanted_ me to do."

"Which is?" the Vulcan prompted.

"Show them I knew _exactly_ what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling," Jim replied with a significant look.

"Fascinating."

Spock turned and headed for the door.

"Where are you off to Spock?"

"I believe I have unfinished business to attend with Doctor McCoy."

Jim smirked.


	19. The Response

"Doctor. I do not believe you understand emotions so well as you suppose."

"What?!"

"You have had someone indicating romantic interest for a considerable time and have as yet given no clear answer."

McCoy hesitated.

"Do you mean Tonia? Because I told her we were just friends."

Spock nearly sighed. Instead he grasped McCoy's shoulder and stared into his surprised blue eyes.

"Doctor. Do _you_ know what to do with a genuine, warm, decent feeling?"

McCoy blinked.

"You ain't thinking about Jim?"

"In your own words, we are 'just friends'."

"Damn Vulcan." McCoy kissed him fiercely. "Took you long enough."


	20. Bantam

"What in hell happened to you?"

"Nothing," McCoy said sulkily.

"Bones, you've got a black eye and a split lip."

"Might have got in a bit of a fight," he muttered.

"You tried to break up a fight?"

"Not exactly. More… started one."

"Bones!"

"It wasn't my fault! Damn fools thought they could call Spock a pointy eared half-breed freak. I wasn't going to stand for that!"

Jim tried to hide his amusement.

"Bones… you call him a pointy eared green-blooded hobgoblin all the time."

"That's different," McCoy insisted.

"Oh? Why?"

McCoy smirked.

"He _likes_ it when I do it."


	21. Language of Love

"Say something in Vulcan," McCoy purred from his position sprawled with legs draped across Spock's lap.

Spock lowered his PADD and looked at him.

" _Ma etek natyan teretuhr lau etek shetau weh-lo'uk do tum t'on_."

"That's nice." McCoy smiled and ran his toes appreciatively over Spock's thigh. "Say something else."

Spock glanced to the doctor's restless hands.

" _Nar-tor pulaya s'au k'ka'es - k'el'rular tun-bosh_."

McCoy sat up so he could stroke a pointed ear delicately.

"Hhhmm. Anything else?"

" _Shiyau thol'es k'thorai ri k'ahm_."

McCoy latched his mouth over the Vulcan's.

Spock knew Leonard could learn to enjoy Surak's teachings.

* * *

Translations on VLD


	22. Regretfully Yours

As their five year mission came towards its end, Spock was undecided about his future path. He found himself, strangely, discussing his options with Doctor McCoy.

"You're always welcome to stop with me in Georgia," the doctor offered with a rare, genuine smile.

Spock thanked him yet dismissed the possibility.

Kirk's decision to take up with Lori Ciana on a more than short term basis finally decided him.

As he informed McCoy, the doctor sighed.

"It always was Jim or nothing wasn't it?"

He left before Spock could query his meaning.

It wasn't until years later that he finally understood.


	23. Final Regrets

Jim had been gone a year when he sought the doctor out.

The conversation was awkward so Spock got to his point.

"You said once it was Jim or nothing."

McCoy laughed but it was a harsh, hurt sound.

"So… what? I'm finally better than nothing?"

Spock blinked.

"I thought you were referencing yourself."

McCoy stared hard before turning away.

"If you didn't want Jim, why'd you leave?"

"Jim was all I had as I could not have you."

"You could have had me."

They fell silent before Spock asked, "Is it too late?"

"I'd say… we've waited long enough."


	24. Grumpy Cupid

"Dammit Jim! I blame you."

"You're the one who wanted to appear as Gabriel."

"Gabriel! Not Cupid! I'm practically naked!"

Kirk looked over his CMO. Apart from loose-fitting pants, he only had two thin straps crossing his chest to secure his fluffy white wings.

"You don't hear me complaining," Jim admonished.

"You're covered!" McCoy hissed.

"Spock's not complaining."

McCoy couldn't stop his gaze fixing on the bare chest of the First Officer masquerading as Pan. He didn't dare look down at the leather pants.

"Indeed," Spock remarked, gaze equally fixated on the doctor. "I am enjoying the view."

McCoy blushed.


	25. McCoy's Dictionary

A's for Aggravating

B's for Brilliant

C's for Computer

D's for Darling

E's for Elegant Eyebrows

F's for Fascinating

G's for Green (your blood compared to mine)

H's for Hobgoblin

I's for I-Chaya – your teddy bear

J's for Jokes you don't get

K's for Knowledge

L's for Logic

M's for Mind Melds

N's for Nerve pinch

O's for Oblivious

P's for Pointed ears

Q's for Questioning

R's for Restrained

S's for Science

T's for Telepathy

U's for Unique

V's for Vulcan Voodoo

W's for Wit

X's for Xenobiology

Y's for Yearning

Z's for Zarabeth, whom you left in choosing me


	26. Spock's Dictionary

A's for Alluring Accent

B's for Bounce

C's for Charm

D's for Doctor

E's for Eyes of blue

F's for Fearless

G's for Georgia

H's for Heart

I's for Intelligence

J's for Joanna

K's for Kindness

L's for Laughter

M's for Memorable

N's for Need

O's for Overwork

P's for Private

Q's for Quarrels

R's for Red (your blood compared to mine)

S's for Smile

T's for T'hy'la

U's for Unrestrained

V's for Vulnerable

W's for your weakness - Whiskey

X's for Xenopolycythemia

Y's for Yonada, where I nearly lost you

Z's for Zaran II, where I finally made you mine.


	27. Can't Stop Won't Stop

McCoy kissed Spock.

Then, because it felt so good, he did it again.

And, as Spock apparently didn't mind, he kissed him some more.

"Hell," he murmured breathlessly. "I don't think I can stop."

Spock shifted so they were more comfortable.

"I did not ask you to," he replied.

Since he was invited, McCoy dove back into kissing him.

The meeting room doors opened and Jim stepped inside. He stopped short.

"Are there alien spores I should be aware of?" he asked.

McCoy grinned devilishly.

"I better check Mister Spock thoroughly. Just to be sure."

So he kissed him again.


	28. Crisis

**Jim needs Bones kept out of the way – Spock obliges.**

McCoy was pinned to the bed, wrists held firm and legs trapped between Spock's.

He struggled half-heartedly but quickly gave up.

"That's your plan?" he taunted. "Just gonna hold me here 'til the crisis' passed?"

"Affirmative."

"Ain't gonna work," McCoy grinned before darting forward and catching the lobe of Spock's ear between his teeth. He then thrust his tongue into the sensitive channel.

Spock drew back in surprise.

McCoy seized his chance to escape but was stopped by the sound of the husky voice behind him.

"Leonard."

Spock lay sprawled on his bed, eyes dark.

Perhaps the crisis could wait.


	29. Lost and Found

"Captain, I have received some lost property that concerns me."

Spock handed over a personal photo device. Curious, Kirk opened it and then smirked.

"I see it concerns you personally."

Suddenly the doors opened and McCoy stomped in.

"Jim. I gotta report something stolen. It's kinda private and-" His eyes landed on the photo.

"You mean this?" Jim waved it.

McCoy snatched it, casting an anxious look at Spock.

"You didn't…?"

"I did."

The doctor blushed.

"Still concerned?" Jim asked the Vulcan.

"Negative… if the doctor will provide a similar keepsake."

McCoy swallowed hard.

"I reckon that could be arranged."


	30. Finding Mister Right

"He reminded me of Joanna."

Spock gave McCoy an inquisitive look.

"Leonard James Akaar," he explained with a satisfied bounce.

"I see you are still insufferably pleased with yourself."

McCoy was unrepentant.

"Both cute as buttons. Made me feel quite broody."

When Spock didn't reply, the doctor challenged, "Don't you ever think about having kids? A couple of little pointy eared Vulcans running round?"

Spock gave him an inscrutable look.

"I have considered it."

McCoy realised he might be being insensitive, after T'Pring's rejection.

"Don't worry Spock. You'll find the right person eventually."

"Indeed Doctor. I believe you are right."


	31. Part 1 of 4 - Manoeuvre

It was late and the messhall was empty except for two solitary diners sat at separate tables.

All was quiet until a hoarse cough sounded.

Spock looked up, thinking McCoy wanted attention. However his expression became concerned on recognising the doctor was choking.

Immediately Spock strode over and pulled the human up. Taking a firm hold round his midriff, he began rhythmically applying pressure until finally the obstruction flew out.

Spock continued to support McCoy as he panted to regain his breath.

Unfortunately, it was then that their audience arrived. The ensigns flushed in embarrassment before fleeing.

"Dammit," muttered McCoy.


	32. Part 2 of 4 - Rumours

"Jim! You can't believe it!"

"What I believe is irrelevant. Inappropriate behaviour has been reported and as captain I have to investigate it."

"But-"

"Bones," Jim interrupted. "If I don't do anything it'll look like favouritism. And if you're innocent then you'll be out soon."

"IF!?"

"Is the brig really necessary?" Spock interjected.

"Standard procedure for officers caught in flagrante."

"We _weren't_ in flagrante! We were fully clothed!"

"Yes but given the… ahem… _rumours_ about Vulcans…"

"I can personally vouch those are just rumours," McCoy declared.

He received two rather surprised looks.

"Because I'm his _doctor_ , dammit!" He flushed violently.


	33. Part 3 of 4 - Restrained

"I can't believe Jim locked us in the same cell," McCoy muttered.

"He thought it was poetic justice."

"Damned annoying is what it is."

"Indeed."

McCoy eyed him speculatively.

"That almost sounded like an emotional response," he commented.

Spock stared at him.

"I was attempting to avoid an argument."

"What's wrong with an argument? Would help to pass the time."

"Doctor," Spock admonished. "Remember why we agreed to maintain distance in public. Following the activities that concluded our last argument."

McCoy grinned.

"Oh yeah!" His smile vanished. "Guess we better avoid doing that in here."

"Exactly."

"Damned annoying," McCoy repeated.


	34. Part 4 of 4 - Out

"Come on! It was _pretty_ funny."

McCoy glared.

"You're both out now. No harm done."

"No harm done!" the doctor snorted.

Spock silently opened the door to his quarters and McCoy entered. Jim moved too but was promptly stopped.

"I do not require your company," Spock announced.

"But you require McCoy's?"

"He got damn cold in that cell," Bones snapped. "Gotta make sure there's _no harm done_."

"You got chilled?"

"It is nothing the doctor cannot cure," Spock answered before shutting the door after himself.

Jim listened for the thump before grinning.

He knew incarceration would cure their silent treatment.


	35. 3F 125

McCoy stopped automatically by the familiar door as he laughed at Kirk's latest tale.

"See you in the morning Jim." He continued chuckling as he entered the room but then stopped cold.

"Shit!"

"Leonard? Are you unwell?"

Spock glanced over the agitated human. Wide, panicked blue eyes looked back.

"I forgot. I just came straight on in and forgot. Jim was _right there_!"

"Ah. May I surmise Jim now knows about us?"

McCoy nodded worriedly.

"That is well."

"Well?"

"I may now demonstrate my affection publicly."

McCoy's mouth dropped open and Spock used the opening to demonstrate his affection privately.


	36. Forty

"This species is wholly illogical."

That was some insult coming from Spock and McCoy looked up in surprise from his morose brooding.

"To consider as irrelevant all the attributes of those over forty is nonsensical." The Vulcan cast a disdainful look about the party.

"For once you'll get no argument from me," McCoy raised his glass in toast.

One of their young hosts then approached Spock, blatantly ignoring the doctor.

"You dance?" she queried joyfully.

"I do," he replied before extending a hand to McCoy. "If you would do me the honour?"

McCoy grinned and stood.

"Darlin', I'd be delighted."


	37. In Flagrante

Jim arrived unannounced to find Spock, naked, braced over a figure in his bed.

"Oh! Shit!" He caught a fleeting glimpse of brown hair disappearing under the sheet before turning away. "Sorry miss!"

The very strained silence was broken only by sheets rustling. Then footsteps pattered fast and the bathroom door slid shut.

"Captain."

Kirk glanced back to see Spock sat wrapped in his sheet.

"Err… staff meeting's now 0830."

Spock nodded an acknowledgement and Jim fled.

"You can come out now."

The bathroom door opened revealing McCoy wrapped in a towel.

"We damn near did that already," he drawled.


	38. How To Show You Care

"You ain't dismissed yet!" McCoy yelled, storming after Spock.

"I am your superior." Spock turned to him. "You cannot 'dismiss' me."

"You're my _patient_. You stay 'til I discharge you."

"A patient may discharge themselves if they may receive better care elsewhere."

McCoy drew up sharply.

"Fine. You don't think I'm _caring_ enough then you go see if M'Benga will _care_ properly."

He stormed back to his office. Spock followed.

"I did not intend to imply you were lacking in care," he began before the door shut behind him.

Jim turned to Christine.

"Spock's ill?"

She looked up.

"He sneezed."


	39. Alone

McCoy is scared.

He's lost and alone with no way to contact the ship or away team.

Hell! Perhaps they've left him already. Jim will have to obey orders eventually. He can't just wait for McCoy to turn up.

If only he hadn't slid down that ravine. If only he'd not lost consciousness. If only he still had his communicator.

He hugs himself forlornly.

"Doctor?"

It's the most wonderful sound in the universe. McCoy smiles and throws himself at the Vulcan who catches him easily.

"I would never leave you," Spock says.

"Promise?"

Spock kisses him.

"I promise," he swears.


	40. Not The Way

"Godammit Jim! That's my husband down there!"

McCoy squeezed his eyes shut. He hadn't meant to say that.

They had discussed how best to tell Jim.

Spock had advocated calling a meeting with the captain to notify him officially.

McCoy had suggested inviting him for drinks and thus softening the shock.

This certainly wasn't how they'd decided.

"Bones."

The surprisingly soft tone made McCoy open his eyes.

"We really need to talk more," Jim said before grinning. "But after we get your _husband_ back."

McCoy nodded gratefully, not trusting his voice.

"And for the record," Jim added. "I already knew."


	41. How To Save The Day

Jim is skilled at keeping McCoy in his peripheral vision.

It's not that he doesn't trust him at diplomatic events – McCoy is a genuine Southern gentlemen after all – however Kirk knows how little it takes to spark a diatribe.

So when the Tellarite approaches McCoy, Jim tenses. He relaxes as the doctor says nothing and turns away but then his breath catches in his throat.

The alien has caught McCoy's arm.

Jim's eyes swivel to Spock who suddenly looks deadly.

As the Vulcan begins moving, Jim does the only thing he can think to do.

He fakes a heart attack.


	42. I Don't Know How To Tell You This

"I don't know how to tell you this."

Jim shifted awkwardly while Spock waited calmly.

"Leonard's having an affair," Jim blurted out.

Of everything Spock had anticipated, he hadn't considered that.

"What makes you think that?" he enquired, startled.

"I was round his quarters and I saw… some women's panties. Under the bed."

Spock went very still.

"I'm so sorry Spock."

"It is unnecessary. Leonard is not having an affair."

"But the panties! Whose the hell are those?"

Spock stood abruptly.

"They are not a woman's panties," he said shortly before leaving briskly.

Jim boggled before bursting into hysterical laughter.


	43. Hijinks

Jim felt a moment's panic as he recognised Bones running along the corridor towards him. He tensed in anticipation of a hypo before remembering he'd had his requisite shots yesterday.

It was a bare second later he realised Bones wasn't running _to_ – he was running _from_.

Before he could form a sentence though, the doctor had hurtled past him.

Jim turned to yell before hearing another set of footfalls. He turned back in time to glimpse Spock as he came running past as well, clearly in pursuit of the doctor.

Jim sighed and called, "Keep it to the bedroom guys!"


	44. Upping The Ante

Spock often did not understand humans.

Why for example did they start laughing for no reason at all when he spoke to them?

He turned from Chekov to address Jim.

"The settlement appears quite clearly through the goggles Captain. I'd estimate-"

But at that moment Jim turned to him and burst into laughter.

"Captain?"

"Did… ah… did Bones lend you those goggles Mister Spock?"

"He did."

"You may… want to look at yourself…"

Uhura held out a small mirror, trying and failing to stop her giggles.

Spock looked and his mouth set in a rigid line.

The challenge was on.


	45. Pulling Strings

McCoy barged in unceremoniously.

"Have you read this communication from Jim?!"

Spock was startled but hid it well.

"I have not."

"Well, first off, they hardly _gave_ her back. He _took_ her."

"As you advised."

McCoy glared.

"Then," he continued pointedly, "a whole load of waffle about better recreation facilities and a lot of high-tech advances before…" He read verbatim – "To encourage the necessary new recruits to fulfil the larger crew complements, Starfleet proposes trialling welcoming families on-board and are seeking volunteers."

McCoy stared expectantly at Spock

"That sounds logical…" he hazarded.

The doctor exploded.

"Jim damn well volunteered _us_!"


	46. Voroth Sea

McCoy was optimistic when he saw the beaches.

"Who knew Vulcan had such a beautiful sea?"

"Ah, but it was not the waters that I brought you to see," Spock said, leading him away into the town.

Leonard followed reluctantly but undeniably curious.

What could match the surprise of that sea?

A temple?

A brothel?

He'd specifically said no museums.

"There it is."

McCoy blinked and stared.

Spock was gesturing proudly at… a plant.

"It is the largest plomeek plant. Eight meters tall. The family who… Leonard?"

"I'm going to find someone on the beach to do something interesting with."


	47. Eridani Beach

"Now Leonard, I know you were unimpressed with the plomeek plant-"

"That's an understatement."

"However I have something else to show you that will amaze you."

"You said something similar the first time we got naked." McCoy grinned.

Spock looked disapproving.

"I recall you agreed with my assessment," he pointed out.

"True enough. So what have you found for me this time?" he asked, interested despite himself.

"Why," Spock's eyes sparkled. "It is right behind you."

Leonard turned and looked at what he'd thought was a boulder.

"And this is…?"

"A genuine example of A'kweth dung!"

McCoy burst out laughing.


	48. Vulcana Regar

"It is the largest _kal-toh_ game. Antigravity units are used to move the pieces."

Spock awaited Leonard's response anxiously.

The human eyed the oversized playing pieces speculatively before grinning.

"Alright. I'll take you on."

Spock blinked in alarm.

"I did not mean to challenge you."

"What?" Leonard crossed his arms. "Scared to lose?"

Spock glared.

"The chances of me losing are remote."

"Really? Well then," he drawled. "How about we have a wager?"

"A wager?"

"Yeah. Winner gets to pick tonight's activity."

Spock considered what he'd choose to do.

Then he considered what Leonard would pick.

It was a win-win.


	49. Kir Province

"A prison hotel, Spock? Of all the places you could choose for us to spend the night…"

"The prison was gutted and renovated though," Spock pointed out. "It is overall quite inviting."

"So you booked us a nice comfy room then?"

"Actually, I booked us one of the original solitary confinement cells."

Spock looked smug. Leonard looked appalled.

"You did what?!"

Spock blinked.

"It is a rare experience."

"It's barbaric!"

"They are advertised for solitary travellers… or couples who don't mind snuggling."

Leonard slowly grinned.

"You're so good to me."

"I did promise you a night to remember," Spock smiled.


	50. Illogicality

Spock spent the entirety of his journey from bridge to transporter room considering how best to explain to McCoy the illogicality of his actions.

He had reached a count of 16 distinct points with subheadings when he stepped inside and stopped short.

McCoy was stood on the platform, shivering and wet.

Apparently the transporter operator had decided to neglect the air drier, presumably to teach the doctor a lesson in following orders.

Spock frowned and fetched an emergency blanket.

"Come Doctor. We must get you dry or you will catch cold."

The doctor's grateful smile made Spock forget his count.


	51. The Heart Of The Matter

The crew referred to it as The Argument – and everyone knew which one was meant.

It had started normally enough, with Spock insisting emotions were irrelevant and McCoy insisting there was no point without them, but somehow it became much more intense and even Jim couldn't distract them from their conflict.

And then McCoy said it.

"Why can't you just admit you like me!" His voice dropped to a whisper. "Even a little bit."

Spock stopped suddenly and the crew held their breath.

Then he determinedly caught the doctor and kissed him.

"I do like you Leonard."

McCoy sighed contentedly.


	52. Poker Face

Spock's speedy computations and eidetic memory meant he was winning consistent hands of poker.

That was right up until his opponent snapped his fingers and a vision in red appeared.

Spock's gaze was riveted by the sultry eyes rimmed in heavy eyeliner. Then the figure moved languidly to reveal the hip high slit up the skirt. There was no visible underwear.

Spock's game deteriorated and he lost vastly when the moll sipped long and deep up a straw.

Ultimately he left with pockets lighter than he'd arrived.

But he considered he'd won as his arms were full with blue-eyed beauty.


	53. Turbulence

The turbulence knocked McCoy to the ground although Spock managed to remain standing.

"I… ah… need a hand up," McCoy admitted ruefully.

Spock stilled.

The doctor had never requested help before. On assignments, for the crew, for Jim –yes. For himself? Never

Spock felt a most un-Vulcan like surge of pride and joy. He was honoured to be trusted to such a degree.

He reached down a hand willingly to his much beloved friend.

So he was doubly surprised when he received a hard yank and fell ungainly beside the doctor.

McCoy laughed delightedly.

"Knew you'd fall for me eventually."


	54. Vulcan Rescue

Despite the beatings, starvation and psychological torture, McCoy doesn't regret his decision.

Better he's hurt than allow someone else to suffer.

The auction is humiliating though.

"And now an amusement – a Terran slave. A plaything for your children perhaps. Who will offer me 20? 20 anyone? No? How about 10? His upkeep will be minimal. A bargain at 5."

"I will take him."

McCoy looks up in surprise at the familiar voice.

"A logical purchase," the auctioneer simpers.

"I am sure my son will appreciate the gift," Sarek acknowledged.

Now McCoy knew where his husband got his sense of humour.


	55. Birthday Blues

McCoy saw no good reason to acknowledge his birthday. He'd acquiesce to a drink with Jim but that was it. No-one else needed to know.

So he was bemused to receive a communication from a former patient lauding the date because – "If it weren't for you, I'd be paralysed still."

Messages continued to arrive throughout the day, all on the same theme.

That evening he headed back to quarters confused but with a bounce in his step to find Spock waiting inside.

"Leonard, if it weren't for you, I would be lost still."

McCoy melted.

Perhaps birthdays weren't so bad.


	56. Eclipses

"Earth is wholly unremarkable… no points of interest at _all_."

"Eclipses."

Both aliens turned at the calm voice.

"No other planet in the Federation has a moon so sized and placed to product perfect eclipses. It is a magnificent spectacle."

The aliens looked dumfounded as the Vulcan paused to think.

"Humanity are also among the most remarkable species I have ever encountered."

With a final nod, he continued on towards his friends.

"What kept you?" Jim asked.

"A debate on Earth's noteworthiness."

"I'll give you a lesson on noteworthiness you green-blooded hobgoblin," McCoy promised.

"I shall look forward to it."


End file.
